


The Sacrifices We Make

by jdmsrovia



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Death, Established Relationship, Goodbyes, Self-Sacrifice, Vormir, but i had to do it to get it out of my mind, im so fucking sorry, no beta we die like men, this tore me apart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-26 00:35:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20034937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdmsrovia/pseuds/jdmsrovia
Summary: Thor and Bruce reach Vormir, and a painful decision must be made.





	The Sacrifices We Make

**Author's Note:**

> please leave a comment !! reading your reactions is my favourite thing about fanfic writing

Thor stumbled backwards as the words began to process in his mind. Countless times he's felt as if his entire world has come crashing down around him but this time it felt different; it left a metallic taste in his mouth and a sickness in his stomach he couldn't describe.

_In order to take the stone, you must lose that what you love._

Bruce closed his eyes wearily and brought his hands to his face to cover it, as if on some level he believed he was stuck in a nightmare rather than here, on this godforsaken wasteland with the devil himself, and would wake up at any moment in the arms of the man he loved somewhere where misery could never touch them. He breathed deeply, trying to regain some semblance of calm or logic as opposed to the pure, screaming emotion overriding his every judgement.

"There has to be another way." He offered weakly, and it sounded pathetic even to his own ears.

Red Skull faced him apathetically. "The stone demands a sacrifice. A soul for a soul. There is no way but this."

Suddenly, Bruce felt incredibly tired. A bone-deep exhaustion that no thought could pull him out of overcame him as he considered all the fighting, all the battles and pain that had led him here to this moment. He felt as if his body was made of lead as he dropped to sit on the ground, head hung low.

Thor hadn't moved in several minutes, staring unblinkingly at the cliff edge and the pitch-black darkness surrounding it.

"You're lying."

His voice cut through the thick tension, startling Bruce.

Red Skull paused ominously, unphased by the claim. "A sacrifice must be made. Nothing more can be done."

Thor clenched his jaw and turned away angrily, his body tensing in frustration as the prospect of being able to do absolutely nothing hit him with an undescribable surge of rage.

Thin streaks of lightning began curling between his clenched fingers and contorting around his wrists, glowing dangerously, and his eyes illuminated bright cyan.

Bruce noticed this in the corner of his eye and slowly stood, walking over to him cautiously. 

"Thor..."

He glanced up to the sky, surprised to find no thunder or clouds forming as it remained eerily dark and still. This is a strange place, he thought, for Thor's powers to have no effect on the sky. Even without the weather, though, he could feel the undoubtable hum of electricity through the thick air, could feel the static sticking to his skin. 

"Thor, look at me."

He reached up to cup Thor's face in his hands, but Thor's gaze was still stubbornly fixed towards the cliff edge, unmoving. With Bruce's gentle touch, however, his eyes fluttered closed.

"Neither one of us can make this decision by doing something reckless." He spoke clearly and slowly, as if calming a frightened animal. "We're gonna sit down and talk about this, and make a decision together, okay? We owe that to each other."

Thor simply nodded in response, not having the strength to speak.

"Please, please just let me do it. I need to do this." Thor remained painfully still, bar the trembling of his clenched fists. "It's my fault that he won. I had the chance to stop him and I didn't, and billions perished because of it. This is my chance, Bruce, don't you see?"

He finally allowed himself to look at him and opened his eyes, which had darkened to their usual appearance but still shone brightly for different reasons, due to the tears forming in them.

"I have to make things right."

Bruce scanned his face desperately, shaking his head in confusion.

"How many times do I have to tell you that's not true?"

"I love you more than anything Bruce, but you know I can never believe that."

Bruce removed his hand from Thor's face and slid it down to his arms, where he gripped his biceps fiercely and faced him seriously. Thor's gaze constantly shifted from Bruce's eyes to the ground.

"The universe needs Thor Odinson. Without you, the whole universe would collapse in on itself. How many planets have you saved? How many people? Civilisations? And me... well, I'm not needed at all."

Thor immediately began to protest before Bruce covered his mouth solemnly.

"I know you're just going to disagree with me but it's true. It's not 2012 anymore, Thor. There are other heroes and beings emerging all the time who can do so much more than the Hulk, and new minds who can do better work than I have ever done. The world doesn't need me anymore, and that's okay! I'm okay with that. But the fact of the matter is that the world needs you. Everyone does. It's not fair to take you from everyone else because I'm too selfish to let you go."

The tears welling in Thor's eyes threatened to spill over as his face crumbled miserably. His voice cracked harshly, and he barely let out a whisper. "_I_ need you."

A reluctant smile broke Bruce's reserve. "You're the only person since my mom who's ever shown love to me. You've loved me unconditionally for who I am, even when I've been so difficult to love. You did that for me. Please, please let me repay that debt."

Thor's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Loving you... was never a hard choice to make, Bruce. It just happened. Because... it would have been impossible to not fall in love with you. That's nothing you need to repay me for, Bruce, because it has been the honour of my life."

Bruce chuckled sadly and gripped Thor's hands tightly, hoping to quell the sobs threatening to break from his chest. He gently pulled Thor down to close the gap in their height so he could rest their foreheads together, cool tears mixing as they kept their faces close, sharing breaths and a moment of solitude.

"You're such a loser."

Thor's rumbling laugh made Bruce feel instantly comforted, but the following sob made him screw his eyes shut tighter. He couldn't watch.

"I learnt from the best."

A shaking thumb stroked feather-light across Bruce's cheek and he leant into the touch, placing his hand over Thor's.

A deep-rooted fear and sudden anxiety dropped in Thor's stomach as he appreciated the sight before him, decidedly for the last time, as he knew despite what everything Bruce had just said that he could never live without him, without this. His thoughts went to the sound of Loki's cocky voice and his parents' warm touch, to Hogun's honour, Fandral's jokes and Volstagg's booming laughter as well as Heimdall unwavering compassion and loyalty. He's lost too many people, spent so much of his energy and soul on mourning people he's loved that he simply cannot do it again. Not if he has any choice in the matter. He entertained the feeling of Bruce's hands slipping from his own as he falls backwards into the chasm, never to speak or laugh or feel or touch ever again, for less than a second, as the mere thought left his mind reeling and his heart feel taught in his chest like he was having a heart attack. He had lived a long enough life that dying now was nothing compared to the heartache of living in a world without the one person he loved more than anything.

How could he have known that Bruce was feeling the exact same? That under no circumstance would he ever let Thor die if there was something he could do to prevent it. Bruce has had so little control over anything his entire life, no say in the trauma that's scarred him and no influence on the danger that's always stalked those he cares about, but for once he finally has a choice in his suffering. There's no realm of reality in his mind that he would ever willingly lose the one good thing he's ever been blessed with. The one person who ever bothered to try and eventually manage to make his constant pain bearable, to make his nightmares remain just nightmares and make his scars, both physical and emotional, feel like old friends as opposed to deadly enemies.

Life without Thor was no life at all, and thinking of letting go of his hands now sickened him to his core and left him clinging to Thor for dear life, crushing him as he wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him as close as physically possible. They were both sobbing now, gripping each other with such painful denial that their knuckles stretched bright white and they struggled to breathe.

"A choice has been made?" Red Skull's deep voice echoed from behind them.

They released each other reluctantly, dragging their hands down the other's arms, face, _anywhere_ to avoid having to actually let go.

"Yes." Thor croaked solemnly. He had made his decision and inhaled deeply. He released what he believed to be his last breath incredibly slowly, savouring the moment, before a hint of a smile ghosted across his lips. "I love you so much."

Unbeknownst to him, Bruce had also made his decision. One he knew Thor would never have agreed to and would presumably blame himself for, but as much as it hurt, he would happily give his soul to keep Thor' heart beating until the very end of time.

"I love you too."

Before Bruce could even react, Thor tore from his embrace and raced to the edge of the cliff, his legs carrying him faster than Bruce had ever seen. Mere seconds seemed to draw out into eternity as he reached the very edge and launched himself off, leaping as far as he could across the emptiness beneath him.

Time seemed to move in slow motion as satisfaction seeped into his heart, knowing he could give his life for the man he loved and the universe he had always cherished.

In less than a second, however, that feeling disappeared as he felt a hand clamp down on his bicep, dragging him back to the cliff face which he crashed into painfully. In a flurry of action, he clung to the rock with as much strength as he could muster but couldn't stop. His fingers tore through the stone as they descended further and further down the cliff face at breakneck speed. Thor's heart thundered in his chest as his whole body went numb in panic, just as he caught a protruding edge and weakly clung to it as best he could.

He turned his head downwards to see Bruce's hand had slipped from Thor's bicep into his own, and he was hanging precariously with only the strength of Thor's grip to save him. Bruce glanced down into the darkness before turning his head up to look at Thor, an eerily calm look on his features.

Thor couldn't breathe. He could barely think with the reality of the situation hitting him like a tidal wave.

"Why did you do that?" He choked out, abandoning any attempt to conceal his horror and pain. Tears streamed down his face and blurred his vision, but he could make out so clearly the contented warmth in Bruce's brown eyes.

"You have to let me go." He all but whispered, and Thor sobbed louder. His fingers were aching but he dug them further into the rock which he could feel crumbling under his touch, ready to break from the cliff face completely at any moment. His logic screamed to him that the stone would be lost if they both died, but his heart was too distraught to entertain the thought of self-preservation.

Bruce almost broke at the sight of him like this, weeping into the rocks to avoid what they both knew was inevitable now that his hand was slipping and Bruce's grip was weakening. But he knew it was the right thing to do. He had never believed it more than he did at this moment that _the world needs Thor Odinson_, far more than it would ever need Bruce Banner.

"Save the world for me, will you? Just one more time?"

Thor tore his eyes to him. "Bruce- I can't let you go."

"Yes, you can. You can."

His grip on Bruce slipped again, and the rock beneath his other hand strained and fractured. He wanted to call him a fool, scream of his idiocy and berate him until his throat was bleeding but there was no time for that now as he finally tried to do which he never once in life managed to succeed at. Acceptance.

"I love you."

Bruce smiled up at him, the light of his smile filling Thor with the same warmth from the first day he ever laid eyes on him.

"I love you too."

A brief moment passed where they shared their final gaze before Bruce mustered all his strength from deep within him and kicked off the wall, sending himself hurtling backwards and down towards the darkness below.

Thor wept as he watched him fall, the only thing causing him to screw his eyes shut excruciatingly tight being the moment Bruce's body hit the floor with a sickening thud.

He thought of his mother.

Whenever he was frightened as child Odin would force him to fight his demons, wield a sword and defeat whatever needed defeating. Frigga, however, would hold him close to her chest and shush him quietly.

He buried his face in the rock, grinding his forehead painfully into the stone.

_"Don't look."_ She'd say, when Thor was convinced there were dark elves in his closet or dragons lurking under his bed. _"Just close your eyes, my darling. Then you cannot fear what is no longer there."_


End file.
